Not Behind, Becoming

Dear beautiful soul,

I see you. I see the weight you're carrying—the exhaustion of having to rebuild again. The quiet shame that whispers, "Why am I here again? Why can't I just get it together?"

You've started over more times than you can count. New jobs. New cities. New versions of yourself. And each time, you've had to dig deep and find the courage to begin again when everything in you just wanted to rest.

I know you're tired. Tired of explaining yourself. Tired of rebuilding what fell apart. Tired of being strong when all you want is to finally arrive somewhere and stay.

But here's what I want you to know: You're not failing. You're not behind. You're becoming.

Every Beginning Holds a Lesson

There's something we don't talk about enough—the grief that comes with starting over. We're so focused on being "resilient" and "bouncing back" that we forget to honor what we've lost along the way.

It's okay to grieve the version of yourself you used to be. The life you thought you'd have by now. The stability you once knew. The person you were before everything changed.

Grief and growth can coexist. You can be grateful for where you're going while mourning where you've been.

Give yourself permission to feel both.

You're Not Starting from Zero

Each time you've had to start over, you didn't lose everything. You carried forward:

• The wisdom you gained from what didn't work

• The strength you built from surviving what tried to break you

• The clarity about what you will and won't accept anymore

• The faith that held you when nothing else did

You're not starting from scratch. You're starting from experience. And that changes everything.

Every "setback" refined you. Every hard season shaped you. Every time you chose to keep going when it would've been easier to give up—that built something unshakeable inside you.

The Courage It Takes to Choose Yourself

Let's be real: Starting over usually means you chose yourself when staying would've been easier.

You walked away from what wasn't serving you. You left the job that was draining your soul. You ended the relationship that made you small. You pivoted when you realized you were on the wrong path.

That takes tremendous courage.

The world will make you feel like starting over is evidence of failure. But I want you to see it for what it really is: evidence that you're listening to yourself.

You honored your intuition. You trusted that inner voice that said, "This isn't it. There's something better waiting for you." You chose temporary discomfort over permanent disconnection from yourself.

That's not weakness. That's wisdom.

What You Deserve Right Now

You deserve gentleness, not judgment.

You deserve to rest without feeling guilty about it.

You deserve to take your time figuring things out.

You deserve to change your mind as many times as you need to.

You deserve a life that doesn't burn you out just to prove you're worthy.

You deserve to be met with compassion—especially from yourself.

The Truth About Becoming

Here's what I'm learning in my own season of rebuilding: Becoming who you're meant to be rarely happens in a straight line. It's messy. It's nonlinear. It requires you to shed old skins that no longer fit.

Every time you start over, you're not going backward—you're spiraling upward. You're returning to yourself at a deeper level. You're integrating the lessons. You're building a life that's more aligned with who you actually are, not who you thought you had to be.

And yes, it's exhausting. Yes, it feels like it's taking forever. Yes, there are days when you wonder if you'll ever feel settled.

But you will. Not because everything will suddenly fall into place, but because you'll learn to find peace in the unfolding. You'll learn to trust the process even when you can't see the full picture yet.

A Prayer for the In-Between

"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." — Isaiah 40:31

An Invitation

This week, I want you to do something radical: Give yourself permission to be exactly where you are.

Not where you "should" be. Not where you thought you'd be by now. Right here. In the mess. In the waiting. In the becoming.

Write this down somewhere you'll see it:

"It's okay to grieve who I used to be while becoming who I'm meant to be."

You're doing better than you think. You're stronger than you know. And you're going to look back on this season one day and realize it was the making of you.

Keep going, beautiful. Your season is changing.

With love and belief in you,
Taylor Rachelle

The Healthy Mindful Girl

If this resonated with you, take a moment to place your hand on your heart, take a deep breath, and thank yourself for not giving up. You're building something beautiful, even when it doesn't feel like it yet.